Faking It I've done a lot of thinking on this general topic lately, trying to get a grasp on who it hurts most - the faker or the believer (really - they aren't the fakee LOL). And in all situations, the FAKER comes out holding the bag. Should the believer ever find out s/he was being lied to - there's that and the acceptance of what they thought they knew having been a fabrication. But for the faker, it was the never getting what they were really after, having to get really good at pretending they did, being surrounded by folks who are NOT depriving themselves of the real thing and mask that they're lacking... And then, should they ever reveal their true nature, probably have to do a gangload of explaining and answering questions that they'd probably rather not do - but are compelled to do. After all, they did play with said believer's emotions in a way.
This is most applicable to emotional faking (even though the majority of you were just in the diner with Harry and Sally up to now). And although, in a past life, I was guilty of that too, this time, I'm addressing being... Emotionally creative, if you will. At the end of the day, ye who is not truthful with thy emotions shall hold the short end of the stick. When all is said and done and the need for true explanation arises, you'll find your self peeling back the many translucent layers of fabrication that piled up over the years - and once sorting through the mire, you realize it might have just been easier to say -
I truly love you.
You really hurt me.
I wasn't satisfied with what we had.
It didn't make me happy.
I expected more from you.
You were expecting too much from me.
That was my fault.
I was hoping we'd try harder.
I didn't feel important enough to you.
I should have let go of the past.
You mocked my feelings and I didn't want to feel that way again.
I was hoping I meant more to you.
You disregard my emotions and that leaves me feeling irrelevant.
Or any combination / variation thereof that seemed more complicated to express at the onset of the acting. We all, as individuals, feel that we're always right and everyone likes us as is (after all, we worked hard to be THIS person). It's a hard pill to swallow when someone challenges that.
It's a MUCH harder pill to administer.
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