There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I didn't want to name this the recap... So here's what's been going on lately:
Answered No sooner do I write down some goals does God decide to answer them. And not mysteriously with some fire & brimstone action... "behold the mysteries of my goodness!!!" *insert thunderclap here* but on some... Oh... You want carrot cake? Butter creme or cream cheese icing? Ok... Here. What's next? I understand fully when they say "careful what you ask for". Not so much in... Beware of what you want... But more so - be EXTREMELY SPECIFIC. Cause God answers prayers... But with the whole universe to tend to... He can't read down into the detail of your soul. You have to help him out and offer that up. Caveat to the unknowing...
Motherly There is a mental ascension that takes place when you become someone's mother. Some women outwardly display it. Others feel like they are forcing it on everyone they meet. But rest assured... All women feel it coming off of the mothers of the world. I know I can. Me... In all my experience and 32 yrs under my belt... Am humbled in the presence of a mom. Be she older or younger. As always, I pray to be chosen.
Fighters So... a huge crater opened up on 41st and Lexington last night and out of it shot angry pressured steam. At any time there were colors to the steam (usually dark orange or brown). And it shot up with the force of a geyser. Took up a whole intersection. Looked like someone drilled to the Earth's core and struck a steam pocket on the way. That being said most people I know would walk IN THE OPPOSING direction towards supposed safety and away from harm. In these instances, we take for granted one seemingly common scene - the firefighters and cops (yes... they'll get props from me here) who head TOWARDS the trouble to see what's wrong. Risking health. Sanity. Life. So they can figure out what the hell is wrong so that it can cease to be wrong. I'm thankful for the fighters today. I have too meek a spirit to list myself among them.
Inspiration I was talking with JLB today about things that inspire us. I'm inspired by his writing. I'm just impressed when I'm done reading his pieces. Makes me wanna pick up a pen - but I know better. Listening to Donny Hathaway makes me wish he'd been able to stay around longer and make notes like that that travel from your ears down your spine to the tips of your fingers and the roof of your mouth all at the same time. And I just wanna sing along - but there's SUCH a noticeable difference. I see my co-worker Frank design somethings that make me believe that I could really be so dope if I just focused. And I think if I stock my fridge with the accouterments that Deborah is working with... I might have people knocking down my door to eat dinner with me every night. I might have the exact same camera as a James Ravenell or a Robert Munroe... but what I shoot and what they SEE... completely different sides of the spectrum - either one could beat me with a Cybershot. But there's something that accompanies the simple having of talent. There is something divine to the application. There is a passion... a flame if you will... that just burns bright... forcing you to action. And there's such an innate understanding of your skill... that no book or video lesson could TEACH you more about what you already know.
So it begs the question...
What am I here to inspire folks with?
I have a lot of thinking to do... because I'm not doing any of it right now...
