There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Her concert in NY in 2000 was E & my first "date" and she was an artist that he turned me on to. She sang of deep love - love that you cherish and appreciate, that you write poems about, that you fight for, that augments your love of self, that makes you better. And this man pointed her out to me and said he liked and appreciated her music - which spoke volumes to me about him.
In a catalogue of man bashing, angry, jilted, misused, "constantly hurting" lyrics from artists male and female - she conjured up Black Love... called him by name (not some alias)... gazed lovingly at her ring during her song sets... making googoo eyes at him in the front row.
She showed the world that it was alright to be sappily disgustingly goopy sweet in love - a patron saint to me... because it's PRECISLEY the kind of love I like and that I'm in. And since her... no one else really. Their songs tread lightly on love in comparison.
So to know that that love is on the outs... saddens me. I can't really point to another couple that's sappier than E and I anymore (famous or no)... but I feel that sweetness is paramount. It's that same sugar you see between old black couples - I want to believe that was ALWAYS in their fiber... not developped over time out of habit. But... shit happens.. I guess.
