There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
So much can happen over night. In the blink of an eye.
Your car can go from being in PERFECT, BRAND NEW condition... to being smashed up by careless drivers.
You can go from being a regular person, earthbound... to being a pilot for a day and living out your dreams
You can go from being a regular person, earthbound... to being scared shitless in the backseat of a Cessna, gripping on for dear life while the person mentioned above lives out his dream.
You can go from starving and stressed out to full and completely wasted
You can realize that the love you thought you had that was so good and pure... is just like all the others. Not a smidge different.
You can realize that people think that you're completely gullible and willing to believe anything when you have facts and a WORKING brain.
You can go from thinking you have the perfect life... to wondering what to make of this mess and how will you clean it up and move on.
Funny... I looked up the word cuckold for it's female gender counter part and could find none. I guess the most direct translation then would be the word "WIFE". Cause that's just what should be expected.
