There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
My general disposition the last few days. Last night it was really bad. It was to the point of borderline depression. I just felt horrible about everything... life... work... home... just everything. On the brink of tears, even, at how badly I felt. I just forced myself to sleep because I couldn't bear the sudden deep sadness. This AM, along with physical malaise, that sadness has been met with apathy. Just... eh... about everything (again). It's a beautiful day... The breeze is blowing... but... eh.
I can't even finish the blog with a regular recap.
