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There is a mental state
I strive to achieve
a homeostatic state
a humming
a lull
like those alpha wave
tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear
that in my head all day.
Instead of the
clanging of my
thoughts
and the
clashing of my
wants
versus
what I should do
need to do
and the sad,
bright violins
from "Sunshine"
so melancholy
so consistent
that remind me
how it is
not to have
anyone understand

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    Tuesday, March 20, 2007

      On My Way Home

      My first Brooklyn transit blog. I'm on my way home. The home I'm making with my new Husband - we celebrated one month on Monday. What a month!!! I have spent the most hours in peaceful bliss, quiet contentment and noisy banter and chatter with him. It's truly home to me. We've not yet uncovered all of the crazy habits that we were told would drive each other insane. There's no real divison of roles. He does what he can when he can and so do I. (Ceptin for garbage... Cause I hate it!!!) When we argue, it's short lived - we nip things immediately, because we feel like we have to & should in order to maintain that bliss. I luxuriate in his touch and presence. His company is the ultimate to me. One night, shortly after moving in, I went out on the town with the industry and was out for hours - I didn't get home until 3 or 4 am. Upon reaching home it was dark and my hubby was sound asleep, and I stood there for a while coming to terms with a new feeling - I had "missed" a night with him. I had no idea what he'd done that night because I wasn't with him... Didn't share in conversations with him... Didn't get the skinny on his day - nothing. Just his peaceful, resting body which I felt I'd disrupt now, getting into the bed with him. But I did and he immediatley wrapped his sleep warmed arms around me and returned to that peace.

      I'm racing home to him now and realizing what "rush" hour really means. Instead of dreading going to your house and staying out as long as possible.. You can't WAIT for the final bell so you can rejoin the bliss at home.

      *


    TD |8:57 PM |