There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Greetings from Indianapolis, IN. It's raining here and the humidity is FOR REAL. For once, I'm in a hotel room and my thermostat is on 80/90 (can't really read it accurately) enjoying the toasty warmth and the low lighting of the "heavenly" Westin hotel. This place is crazy with their clean air thing that they do. If they find evidence of you smoking in the room or anywhere around the hotel, they charge a $200 "deep cleaning fee" to your bill. WOW. Well, the movement is on against the cancer sticks in a major way. And rightfully so.
The flight was pretty crazy. Although it's the most restful sleep I've had in a minute, the ride was horribly bumpy and the altitude KEPT making my ears pop and worse than ever because I'm sick, so I guess there was an excess of fluid in my sinus cavities anyways. At one point, D suggested to me that I "breathe through my ears" to release the pressure. So I guess it was too much and the room just started to swirl. I got all scared thinking of the many posts I've read on Isis' blog. But eventually I balanced out and slowly my hearing started to return.
We just got back from dinner with my main damie, Shannon. She's a trip and was sweet enough to drive all the way down from Terre Haute (1 hr) to visit and have dinner with me and my co workers.
And now we're back. And I'm sitting here in this hotel room... just quietly. A lot of my time has been quiet. I'm grateful for that. I'm procrastinating from ironing my clothes for tomorrow so that I can get a head start...but I'll stop procrastinating... I'll just give in to having a clean quiet environment to be in alone with my thoughts.
