There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
So I'm sitting here listening to my sweetie breathe while he sleeps and watching HBO family and they have a show playing called "Good Night Moon" and they're going through a bunch of different lullabyes and stories read or performed by different actors and actresses. And during the reading of Goodnight Moon, which I remember fondly, I felt an unfamiliar but welcome pang. A yearn to read that story to a child or to sing to them and have them drift to peaceful sleep in my arms or by my side. Nothing is really more comforting than a young child feeling safe enough in your presence to fall asleep.
