There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I believe it's something everyone has. And the more you pay attention to it... the sharper it becomes - you hone it in and it keeps you out of some pretty crazy situations. Instinctively, you know some things are bad. And specifically, you know somethings are bad for YOU in particular. Your intuition is the little quiet voice in the back of your head that when you approach those things that are bad or will have bad outcome you hear it go... "uhh... hey? maybe not." And it's so subtle it's easy to shrug off and ignore and forge head first in to exactly what it was warding you away from. Situations that end up compromising; people who sap away your positive energy. Your intuition gave you a warning call - you chose not to heed in those instances. The trick is to not cultivate it into a fear... because you can't live that way - constantly fearing all things all the time for their potential to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. Which is why some of us, knowing our intuition is working with us and for us, venture out thinking, "I'm not afraid of anything..." and our intuition says "yeah...I know... but you may not want to do THAT..." We promptly respond "pshaw..." and get smacked in the mouth by whatever it was we dove head fist into. I've encountered situations like that a few times this week. Trying to be brave, thinking disclosure was better than silence, assuming that things would work out one way and not the other because of my bravery. And as I stood there holding my jaw in temporary shock from the impact of the situations I heard that same quiet voice say, non-maliciously, "see..." Despite glaring immediate evidence... some sentiments should be kept to yourself. Some people shouldn't be a part of your most important moments in life. Some co-workers don't deserve the benefit of knowing your every move. Some places are not made for you to tread. Some things are better left unsaid.
