There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I've convinced myself that this is an art. And perhaps I need to become a student of it. Caring generally less about stupid shit than I do normally. I often find myself in a position of giving a damb (lol@Frizz) more than the average joe. And although it's been cited as one of my more endearing qualities, that shit is giving me an ulcer. It's really freeing to care less sometimes. So I have to start. And stop giving things and people an importance that they don't deserve / haven't earned. I'm losing focus again, and I can't afford to wait 6 months to get it back this time. Maybe my new endearing quality will be that I stay sane.
