There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
A few people I told sighed into the phone about the unfairness of the system. "Real nice... making you go to court on Valentine's day."
I see it as a sign. This whole situation is an affront to all the things that I'm dreaming about. Stability. Peace of mind for me and my family to be. The ability to teach my babies one day to know better. To be a loving provider for their futures. I'm not just fighting for my good name and finances.
I'm fighting for my ability to live in peace and love. On Valentine's day.
It's got to work in my favor. I'm speaking it into existence. I just have to walk in there and claim.
