There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Him: I was thinking about you all day... Me: Really? What made you think of me? Him: Honestly? Me: Preferrably. Him: Well, I was at a Cafe at work. And I ordered a 16 oz. hot chocolate and I sipped it. I wanted it sweeter. It was sweet, but I wanted it sweeter... I wanted something sweet and creamy... And well... You know... I thought of you.
I was disappointed. I was hoping to (and always hope to) hear... I was thinking about your company... Or our long walks through the city. I was thinking about the lilt in your laugh or the sun of your smile. I was thinking about your swagger and your style. I was thinking about the way you kissed me with caring or your gentle and exacting touch to soothe me. I was thinking about waking up to you and knowing it made my day right. I was thinking about how we would steal away from the world a few minutes that were worth hours and hours that would fuel days. I was thinking about how much you taught me and how you re-instilled in me that I had knowledge worth sharing. I was thinking about how I missed my chance to be with you....
When is a guy going to think of me for more than my neverending legs, plentiful bosom and caramel skin... I thought. When will the lesser thoughts be of the ways my voice sings or any thing I may do to invoke thoughts of sweet creaminess? When is a man going to truly want ALL OF ME... Not just my body????
