There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
So I usually use the 24 hours of a new year to give me an indicator of what the rest of the year will be like. It never really works, but at least it helps me to define a positive outlook on the rest of the year before it starts. I've gotten, in the last 48 hours, three clear signs.
Lily. Slow. Copper.
Lily: I got Lillies from 2 different people and my Maxi got me Thierry Mugler's Angel Garden of Stars: Le Lys (the Lily). I did a little research and lillies carry the following meanings: Purity of heart, Maiden modesty, beauty, Coquetry, Purity and sweetness, flirtation, Perfect purity, return of happiness.
Slow: on saturday I was late for chapter meeting... again. But this time, I truly did not stress myself. An old saying that my dean told us when we were on line, "If your late, your late... whether it's 15 minutes or 2 hours. Late is late." So I didn't stress. I just showed up when I did. I even wore shoes that made me walk slower. I took it easy and everything in stride. No worries... no hurry. As my mother always says to me (and has ever since I was a kid cause I seemed to be all fired up to do something...) "Trop presse pas fait jour l'ouvrie" - that's creole for hurrying doesn't make the sun rise faster. So I take it easy.
Copper. I've been getting all sorts of references to copper. There are these shoes in the windows at Bakers that I've fallen in love with and they are copper. I gravitate towards that color and have heard it referred to about 10 times in as many days. Copper isn't "precious" per se, but it's essential. It's simple and essential. It's the best conductor of electricity.
So I've boiled my symbols down to this: My 31st year will poise me for my return to happiness, innocence and purity. Whether it's a return or a rebirth... we have yet to see. Going slow will be my focus. No need to hurry, things happen when they will. And I will try to live with simple, essential goals in front of me. Nothing elaborate. Just purely simple and essential. Plus I'll don more copper colored stuff. I feel it'll bring out the essential tones in my skin (had to take a little fashion angle on it).
I feel good about my 31st year on this earth. I never come out of a year saying "that was a bad year"... because if I am actually breathing and living to form those words -- it could NOT have been that bad.
Thank you, Lord for another year of learning and experience.
