There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
There are a few things that will sober you right up. Sitting here at work after coming from a celebratory party in our cafeteria drinking on my champagne and feeling fine, I figured I'd call mom and make her privy to the fact that my baby is coming to pick up the wheelchair today for return to the surgical supply and not to forget to give him the leg stirrups for it. As we're chatting lightly... I hear James Brown playing in the background in my office and I want to rush to hang up so that I could shake my booty in my chair. The words "okay, mom... I gotta run..." had almost made their way out of my mouth when she intervened.
"Uncle Vava has a brain tumor."
Short of having my mouth agape I sat there suspended... trying to collect my thoughts about what I thought it meant. But stayed speechless for a long while. He was already battling colon cancer (but according to the Drs... wasn't going to survive.. because here.) But this was out of left field. Worst part about it is that my mom had to hear from a mutual friend that he went to the hospital this morning. That's her first youngest brother. How the hell are you hearing it from anyone but his family or him? So I guess because she was in shock... she needed to shock someone else... at least one other person.
