There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Not much to say today. Had a gang of great experiences. Had a few distasteful ones. Won't dwell to long on either. 'Ceptin for one.
I was moved to blog because sometimes... something or someone you love, when you love it long enough, surprises you with a new way for you to say, "WOW... I really love you and I know why now... again." You know how love kind of ... doesn't die down, but maybe, becomes so steady that it fades off into the background? And you might forget that it is the fuel for your engine and not just a moving part? Then BANG!!! It does something to remind you. I got that two fold just a few minutes ago.
As I was setting up my new Nano (THANK YOU R!!!) I was quickly going through the songs I want and don't want, are duplicates and not so much and the tracks with no name from an untitled album. I stumbled across one... where I listened carefully to the voice singing. It didn't take long AT ALL for me to recognize my Donny singing to me. That's a voice I can't forget even if I tried. But I hadn't heard this song. So I listened to the words. Could barely make them out because it's late and the neighbor may complain (again... douche). But then it gets to the chorus... and thru the low volume and the white noise of my room... I hear that soul. I hear that depth. I hear that emotion... and he sings to me...
"No, I ain't got No body else in mind... I know it's you"
And this time... moved by Donny's voice... I heard my baby's words. Ones he's spoken to me over and over in my fits of paranoia and insecurity. Clearer than ever. Sometimes it takes music to get a message across to me. I can be pretty dense. But music makes it through all of that. I fell in love all over again with that voice... and my man. The phone rang a few moments later and it was him telling me good night. I gushed to him that I love him and he returned it. He's so excited about me since he saw me on the show last night. I won't ask why anymore. I'll just understand it's because he knows - it's me.
(check the track on the radio blog) Here are the lyrics: Nothing feels better Than my baby's arms They've been around me a long time Nothing feels better Than some good news Makes you glad to face the new times I tell you nothing's better When there's no need to look Cause you know who's there I smile the world over When I think of the past how we passed all the tests through the good and the bad
And that's why I want to say it right now
No I ain't got Nobody else in mind I know it's you
Home is a castle You built in my mind I'm home anywhere anytime Peaceful and patient Easy takin' time It's so nice to have a simple mind
I tell you nothing's better When there's no need to look Cause you know who's there I smile the world over When I think of the past how we passed all the tests through the good and the bad
And that's why I want to say it right now
No I ain't got Nobody else in mind Cause I know it's you
