There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Well, it's that time of year that I love best. This is MY season. I become so in tune with nature and it's urge to take a nap. Even my hair changes color (naturally). The crips and the blue blue skies as the backdrop for auburn, gold and red leaves are all I need to feel like I'm totally at peace. I am ready for this season this year. I've been looking longingly at my sweaters. Can't wait to don them. I believe that this will be a good end of year for me. So much to look forward to. A few weddings. A bunch of chapter events. And closer still to the completion of the planning for my future with my baby. I do feel lighter as a cause of recent events that have my personal space less cluttered which always helps to free me. I'm getting my finances in order. I'm starting to really keep it together at work. I'm getting to a good place.
Tomorrow is September 11th. They're thinking of turning it into a service holiday (kind of like MLK day) which I totally wouldn't mind at all. I'm just not looking forward to the days when we have September 11 Blowout sales at every store. I do hope it never gets there. I also hope that they don't innundate us with a million images of the buildings coming down. That is forever etched in my memory. God bless everyone who was affected by that experience.
So I've had a million thoughts roaming around in my head the last few days. I just fail to make it here in time for me to actually place them on the screen. I did have one question though that I'd like to pose to my reading public:
If you were pregnant (or your girlfriend was pregnant) and early on you knew the child would be disabled somehow - down syndrome, missing a limb or two, brain damage etc. -- what would you do? Would you have the child? Because it's early enough, would you abort? Give it up for adoption? What would you do? No fluff answers, please. Your honest gut reaction is appreciated.
Thanks for participating. Oh well... here I go, off to the first chapter meeting of the season.
