There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Another strange dream courtesy of strange experiences and weird feelings before going to sleep. I couldn't get to sleep right away last night. I just stayed up and stared at the patterns that were on the ceiling from my oil burner. I tried as hard as I could to just empty the images and thoughts from my head so I could get some sleep. When I finally did get to sleep, this was my dream... or what I remember of it.
I was travelling to somewhere to meet someone. Someone who I had to talk to about something important. (I don't have details here, people). But it's somewhere that I've been to before in my dreams. That I've traveled to before. But I couldn't afford to travel the way I normally have, so I had to take a local route of travel which took HELLA long. And when I got off this train, there were a world of stair cases down from the platform. After a while of going down the stairs, I stopped passing regular rush hour traffic of people and started down stairs in a university somewhere. But this isn't where I needed to be. I was still making my way somewhere. But classes were in full session and I was bumping into students and folks conducting their classes in the hall way. So the attendance of their class would spill out into the stairwells, where I was needing to pass through. I tried to do it as inconspicuously as possible the few times that I did. At one point, I passed a class that was looking through glass pane into what seemed like an operating room. I had to pass right in front of them and apologized profusely for temporarily blocking their view. The teacher grabbed my hand and said to me, "We're examining the pregnancy room." And she smiled brightly to me. I smiled back and nodded and said, "That's very wonderful." I gently released myself from her grip and finally walked through an iron exit door to the outside. It was snowing. And I was dressed (suddenly) in the darkest clothes. I needed somewhere to recess momentarily and catch my breath / get my bearings before moving on. Then I saw a Dunkin Donuts that I see everytime I travel to this place... this place that I've been to in my dreams before. I stagger over to it thinking to myself, "I'm NEVER taking this way into this location again if I can help it. The other way is so much easier and faster."
I walked into the Dunkin Donuts and there was a sign there that said that their coffee machines were closed between 3 and 7. It was 4 o'clock according to my watch. So not even coffee to warm my bones. But I remembered in this DD, they start to fill up the store waiting for the coffee the closer it gets to 7. So I'd sit and wait. I sat down at a 2 person table and put my black wallet ( I don't have a wallet) on the table. No sooner did I put it down, than did a man: white guy, short... kind of measley looking -- decide to sit next to me. I looked him up and down and he asked permission with his eyes to sit there next to me. I nodded. After a little while he opened up my wallet with the intention of telling a story. "You know what's odd about these?" he started... and put my credit cards on the table and started pointing to each one and citing instances of trivia about them. I was listening but his words were becoming muddled as I was noticing that he was stashing a card or two of mine up his sleeve. "HEY!" I yelled and pointed to his sleeve. His eyes widened and he panicked. He grabbed my wallet and got up to leave but I ran after him and tackled him at the door. Somehow I got him in a sleeper hold on the floor and screamed at him to give me my wallet back. He stayed quiet and I applied pressure. I was hoping to just knock him out so I could take my wallet back. But he stayed there. Not really resisting. But I knew if I let go of him, he'd be out of my grasp. I managed to get into his pocket and take my wallet back. He fled the Dunkin Donuts and I sat on the floor looking through my wallet. He'd gotten away with one card that I could tell. "I hate coming to this place," I thought to myself. I need to call so-and-so so I can get out of here... and I whipped out my phone. Which was already ringing. The tone that it rings when I get a text mesage.
I opened my eyes and my phone was blinking red on the floor next to me and I just laid there. Weirded out.
Oh well... going to go get ready for the grind today. *
