There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Okay... so he's home. And it feels like the situation here has amplified by 500 million since when he left. Before he went to the hospital, I was in service for the most part... but little things they would still be able to handle themselves. Getting stuff to drink, making themselves something to eat, etc. But seems that they've both hit minimum mobility. I'm am the arms and legs. And it has me plotting my escape. I'm looking for all escapes. But I can't find any. And what's worse... my conscience won't let me escape. For fear that something will happen while I'm away.
Then my mom wants me to go check up on my brother who is suffering from a severe headache and nausea. She thinks he has meningitis. She wants me to go check on him. Meningitis which I thought was airborne. I was like... GREAT! I'm expendable cause she's sending me in there to go catch it too.
