There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I LIVE for these little moments. They are the ones that last in my mind forever and ever. And they usually cost no money... require no advance planning but have such a lasting impression that I take them with me into bad days to bring a little light. Lounging around on Sunday afternoon fixing my baby's computer (which is how we got together, mind you... I'd offer to fix his computer so I could get closer to him and be in his space) i sent him off to shower so that I could do the same and we could hit the pavement. While he was showering, I laid on the couch and was watching Harry Potter. Or at least I thought I was watching Harry Potter. I must've dozed off at some point, feeling very restful and safe... and out of nowhere... a soft sensation touched my lips... and i inhaled sweet, clean, damp scent of his freshly showered skin. He'd gently planted one on me to wake me and I couldn't stop smiling all day.
