There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Things have been pretty quiet. I haven't really had time for any thoughts. Sleep takes precedence for me right now. I really need to see my doctors. Something's not right. I'm terribly lethargic lately and my body just feels... wrong. I guess I just don't want to go through the trouble of asking someone who's supposed to know more just to have them tell me that they don't know.
I had a pretty relaxing Friday, though. Got paid with a little bonus so i cleaned up bills quickly and took the liberty to shop a little. Got some new makcup, a few new digs. Treated myself and brother to a little pampering at the nail salon (me to my mani pedi him to a 1/2 hour massage). I fell asleep in the pedicure chair a few times. I really just needed to relax. I'm glad that i had an opportunity to. I just wish that the relaxation could last a little longer than just a day.
