There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
It's amazing what good movies can do for a night. Good, oldschool movies that take you back to a time and place that you're fond of reminiscing about but maybe would never relive again.
We watched 2 movies, one last night before we fell asleep on the couch and one this morning as we prepared for work. Last night Boomerang was on. And that is ALWAYS funny. My baby and I watched and laughed through the whole thing and wondered what happened to Eddie Murphy's witty comedy that has been since watered down with the likes of Pluto Nash *shudder*; wondering what happened to Halle Berry's nose. It sure has changed from back then. Wondering what black folks were thinking with those styles of clothing back then. Wondering why apartments like the one Marcus had are NOT available anymore *sigh*. But we watched and had a great time laughing and noting the pimp stylees on men from women with which I was so versed in at some point. But how I don't need to know those anymore.
After the movie was over we switched the channels around and landed on Shawshank Redemption - one of my FAVORITE movies. But it started to remind my baby of work. He announced to me earlier today that he'd be taking the plunge and going for the Teaching Fellows program. It means a significant pay cut, but he'd be earning his masters and teaching kids. Maybe catching the ones that may end up in some kind of holding facility like where he works today. I support that. Any change he wants to make right now is the time to make it. So I'm backing him. It may mean tightening our belts and that I might be footing most of what we do, but his happiness and sanity means more to me than any paycheck. So I'll put up extra prayers for that. I asked him to turn the channel because his loose and calm mood was turning back into the penitentary again. Dunno what he changed to. All I know is that the last time I looked at the clock it was midnight... my head was resting on his stomach while the rest of me was outstretched on the couch and there I fell asleep. Me. Ms. Insomnia herself was ktfo at midnight. Around 1:30, we both woke up and he brought me to bed and took off my ring and earrings and tucked us in... and I had a flawless nights worth of sleep. I only woke up once because I was cold.
In the AM, my baby woke me up quietly and calmly like he always does. And I fought for more minutes of bedtime, like I always do. He finally woke me up and I went to shower and change. Came back to the den and Love Jones was on. Talk about some memories in there... I keep staring at Nia Long's character and wonder what it is that people see in the characters she plays that reminds them of me. I don't look a thing like her, but folks compare me to her in this and other movies that she's performed in. That movie is chock full of good music. And so remniscent of days past. So funny: I've given that movie as a gift to so many folks... and don't even have a copy for myself *smh*. We didn't get to finish watching it because we had to be out the door and take his cousins (3 of them) to the bus stop for school. A little forshadowing of us as parents. It was nice. On the way, we were listening to Kiss and just laughing at everything that they were joking about, while the kids remained stoic in the back seat.
Oh gosh, I leaned over and said to my baby... "We're old... we're laughing at old humor and they don't get it..." He said... "It's okay... we're old school now. That's something to appreciate."
Yeah... I guess it is. All these memories are really nice to remember :)
