There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
My cousin Ollie just called me after crossing the stage at Temple University where he graduated with honors, Magna Cum Laude *chills* and wanted to make sure that I knew 1) he shouted ME out and 2) that he saved me a program as a gift. Man. I'm such a sap... I just sat here and cried for like 10 minutes. I'm so unbelieveably proud of him, I have no words. We are now 2 of the first american born lineage of our family to have gone to, and completed college. And he knocked it out of the park. And he says he owes ME. Man... If he only knew how much I owe him.
I feel so much better now. I don't even feel sick anymore.
