There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
This weekend I heard this term briefly referred to as the time that one would take out to let their flesh speak for their body (rather than their soul or spirit). In the "sermon" it was recommended to take 5 minutes of it... and then let the issue go. Being that I've had 4 days to rant and rave about it... I assume this is my flesh time. The main flesh in this instance being my heart. But... I think I'm just about all out of rants and I'm frankly, tired of thinking of the whole situation. I will not let go of her... because that is what the "ministry" would want so they can have her all to themselves. I won't give them that satisfaction. I will not intrude in her walk. This is the path she's chosen and there is nothing I can rightfully do about it. What I will do is pray. Pray to the God that I recognize, that if He's the one that she's recognizing too, to PLEASE take her hand and guide her through this. Have her firmly in sight for his bigger plan, whatever it is and that she make it out on the other side unscathed, keen minded and seeing clearly. That is the prayer for my sister I will always give. I love her. That's the bottom line. I will disregard the rest of that ministry. My concern is for T and that is who my prayers will go out towards. I'm praying for the best.
MAXnifiCAT
Humungoid shouts to my dawg... my homie... my ace boon coon... my nigga cain't get no bigga - MAXIMUS bka MAXnifiCAT bka MAXIMONIOUS bka MIZZERY bka da FIIZZZIFFF!!!! In every sense of the word, this woman astounded me this weekend. She came to my rescue numerous times in the last few days (and not that I didn't think she was capable of it... but for once... I LET her, which is rare for me... Supergirl herself). She held my hand and channeled positivity through me when I was just about to raise up on cats and make them think I was the devil incarnate. She sat and listened to me, uniniterrupted, babble about my ls. She gave me hugs when I cried and made insanely hilarious jokes to which I belly laughed till my sides hurt. She was stunning and courageous and UNMOVEABLE. She took me out today for a drinky drink and a bite to eat and it was wonderful just hanging and talking. *sigh*... And God forbid, I ever do something (again) that's remotely cultish... I can rely on her to shake me a few good times yelling "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" (she did it once already). This goes out to my Maxi-Tax who is my ROCK! YOU ROCK DUDE!!! AND I LOVE YA!!!!! Visible, noteable, recognizable blessings are few and far between. Thank you for being one of mine.
