There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I had such a long day, but I couldn't end it without posting. I've been good for the last few days. I didn't sleep a wink last night which made it easy for me to sleep on the planes on the way out here and thus not giving me enough time to stay awake and worry about any kind of impending death. Funny too, because Jenny told me that the first plane we were on had such a rocky landing, she thanked God that we were sleeping when it was all happening. So am I. We almost missed our connection in Cleveland because the guy at the gate was an unmitigating prick and just waved us off to a concourse that was half way across the universe but NOT the concoure we needed for our connecting flight. After being on the plane with Ma and Pa Clampant (some family from ATL who's luggage was in plastic supermarket bags tied at the top but they were decked out in Sean John and Ralph Lauren, mind you) who's little Clampants were fussy and loud on both planes, we landed in ATL. My baby and I went to retrieve the rental car that he ordered online and we encountered some serious opposition that wouldn't allow us to rent the car. Now what, I thought? I called Taz who, with a nonchalantness that I would have never imagined, said, "Well, after today, I'm not gonna be around, so... he can use my car." Amazing. They've barely known each other for 4 years and in that time didn't speak regularly. They know each other cause of me, and I met Taz on the web in 98. Amazing how friendships are forged and what they're willing to do.
We spent the whole day with Taz: visited his beautiful home in Austell, fell asleep on the couch (where he accused me of snoring, to which I protested); grabbed some stuff to eat, waited for his wife Kris to come home so we could go out and shop, get my eybrows done, and eat some more before dropping Kris home, getting Taz to the car rental spot where he was meeting his team and then driving back to the Suite hotel, where I'm sitting now, just waiting for my baby to come out of the shower... auntie's not here yet... so we're looking to make good use of that opportunity.