There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
It's tough realizing that the story is not all about you. I think we all individually imagine that the world revolves around them and what they do. It was easier to convince myself of that when I was younger. I was the star of my very own personal movie and that everyone had thoughts of me somewhere in their minds. But... alas... this isn't. I'm doing a bit part. But I'm damned good at the part I play. And how much more vast does the universe become when I realize all the simultaneuous story lines happening effortlessly together. What an intricate writer of the world God is. Simply Amazing. And He manages NEVER to get writers block or stop blogging. What an example!
Today I went and got my ring instpected and cleaned. I didn't think it would do much. I do a lot to keep it clean and out of harms way. So I walked down there with AP and Kdot and handed over my ring to them. 10 minutes later, they handed me back a bigger brighter ring and told me it was mine. Good GOD! It SHONE (if that's a word). My brother told me when I stare at it, my eyes open up wide and I angle myself as if I'm going to dive into it. But I get lost in every facet's ability to reflect and refract. Simply amazing. What amazes me more is that my sweet baby saved for a year, picked it out with me in mind and gave me as a symbol of his love and his desire to spend the rest of his life with me. What an amazing feat of love and dedication *sigh*. He's groovy!
A coworker told me that my complexion was beautiful today. I didn't do anything special at all. No makeup, no lip gloss, no pretense. And I was beautiful. So I've declared this day and tomorrow and this weekend and all weeks to come... admire me days. :) Who knows HOW long this will go on for!!! *giggles*
Time to get a little more sleep. Long day ahead...
