There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I had the strangest night. I didn't get to bed till 3:30 AM working on my chapter's directory until I couldn't see straight anymore. And expected to be honked awake by my alarm at 7:30 as always. But I woke up so many times in between thinking my night of sleep was over. The night went on for EVER and I had Epic style storyline dreams (which I can't remember nary a detail now... but they were quite extensive). At 6:30 AM, I opened the window, put my fan in and opened my bedroom door. Thinking to myself... I'll force sleep through this last hour and then get up for work. I may even wake up early, I thought. Then, I opened my eyes and it was 8:30. And here I am... half dressed, blogging so I don't forget and rushing to get to work. That's life, ain't it? Only when you think you don't need it, you find time everywhere. And once found... squandered.
