There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I've been wondering about the future a lot lately. My married future. One of the main reasons that I want us to have a house is because there need to be enough rooms for us to escape from each other in. I can already tell that my baby is a bit of his own man. He doesn't feel the need to be up under anyone all day long. And after a while, his tolerance does shorten and he needs to get away. But, there really won't be that option when we're married. We'll have to be in the same household and that's that. I can tell that he's probably a little uncomfortable with me in close quarters. Which makes me a little scared. Cause you can't get much closer than living with the other human being. I guess it's part of the adjustment. Gotta give him his time. I'm probably going to want some of my own. *shrugs* It's all new to me. I guess I'll become an old hand at it one day.
