There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
1. Know the league rules. Want to make a guy's jaw drop? Give him your blow-by-blow of the Arsenal/Man U showdown. Earn him a few quid on your World Cup predictions, and he'll propose to you faster than David Beckham's latest Lamborghini.
2. Lose the coasters. These little frisbee things are the bane of a guy's existence
3. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they're stupid — especially if they're stupid — a guy's jokes are an irreplaceable token of his manhood.
4. Share the wealth. Speaking of his friends, if you follow all the tips listed here, they're going to be very jealous that the two of you are an item — so coax out your single female pals every now and then and let everyone mingle. If nothing else, it's good karma.
5. Let him get lost. No, don't throw him out of the house. The next time you're out driving, and your boyfriend refuses to ask for directions, cut him some slack. Losing his way on the M5 is the closest he may ever get to the adrenaline thrill of skiing the Alps.
6. Flatter his ego. Whenever your boyfriend tells his latest tiresome tale about slaying some work-related ogre — or starts wondering whether, deep down, he's really suited for life as an epic poet — just tell him he's terrific and you believe in him 100 percent. Even if you don't.
7. Know when to stay home. No guy will come right out and say it — at least, no guy who wants to keep all his body parts — so if you pay extra-careful attention to your boyfriend's mood, you'll know when he wants to spend a night out with the gang by himself.
8. Buy a round. If you do happen to be out with the gang, buying the next pitcher — or, better yet, turning everyone on to the kind of fancy drink (like Cosmopolitans) that only girls seem to know about — will instantly establish your cool-chick credentials.
9. Wear a baseball cap. You know how naturalists, when they want to infiltrate a pack of hyenas, dress in fur pelts? Not only will a baseball cap make you look sexy — especially if you wear it backward — but it'll do a lot to increase your boyfriend's comfort level.
10. Don't sweat the small stuff. The list is too extensive to include here, but are loose toenail clippings, unwashed towels, and torn jeans really worth a full-blown argument? Go with the flow, and you'll be surprised how often your boyfriend cleans up his dirty habits all by himself.
Soooo.........
I gotta be a man... to charm a man? EEEK. The things they teach folks these days ;)
