There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
There was absolutely NOTHING to today, and I loved it that way. My baby and I just laid around and watched TV and it was glorious. We didn't have to rush anywhere or be at any function. It was just he and I and the bed and the tv. We barely spoke any words to each other. Just basking in the quietness of our company. He's a pretty cool guy. I think the whole living my life with him thing is gonna work out pretty nice. I told him about the Incredibles. He seemed a little sad. But I think if we go see it together, we'll be fine. I hate to disappoint him. He's such a good friend (above all else).
And now I'm home and want to get ready to go to bed. I'm tired and I have a feeling that this week is gonna be something else. I think the smoke from Macanudos did a job on my throat. It is R-A-W. *sigh* I just hope that this feeling fades away.
