There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Snoop Dogg feat. Pharell - Drop It Like It's Hot is my NEW THEME SONG!!!
*pops tongue* (listen to the song dammit)
I have totally slacked off of my blogging. But here I am to make up for lost time *sigh*
Firstly, thank HEAVENS it's Friday. This has been a very long week, feeling like it's going into a longer weekend. And I kind of went through this whole week with my eyes closed just feeling around for my way. So I'm a little out of it. Maybe my brain is pickled a bit... I've been drinking a lot this week so I feel like my eyes are just swimming. But it's the post festivities from everyone who couldn't make the party party. So I've eaten like a Queen all week and been loved by all! Even folks that I thought were no longer a part of my life; or rather that I decided were no longer part. But they called anyway. Complete with the "I miss you, baby" and everything *sigh*. So far from that now. But it was nice for everyone to think of me. 30 has so far been more festive and youthful than 29 was... all the worrying... and for what???
So I was really upset with kdot last week. He and I (really I) had this BLOW UP about voting... I had set him on this pedestal I guess... upright citizen.... military for 10 years. I couldn't imagine that he would ever NOT want to take part in attempting to decide the fate of the nation. He's not gonna vote. It incensed me. I couldn't believe that ANYONE would not want to actually vote. I was almost brought to tears by the amount of disappointment I felt. But later on when I was more rational and after spending a complete day not speaking to him, I felt better because I realized I wasn't so much mad at HIM for his decision to be inactive... but moreso at myself for giving him such portence when he had never proven worthy of that. So, I've reduced the amount of responsibility I THINK he should have to the amount he actually has. And I'm better now. He talks politics and I treat it as if I'm talking to a Republican... no comment. Luckily, I did have a conversation with a young man on Sunday afternoon (one of Ollie's friends that was enlisted in the service of helping me with my new 27" TV)... and I convinced him out of his inactive state. I hope, anyways. Who knows what he'll ultimately do. But I did make him look at things differently.
