There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Outside of being a pretty stressed out day, I got an opportunity to spend a few moments with my sweet best friend Sug, on this the eve of her departure to a new life, a new beginning and exciting times. She was glowing and so ready to go... I'm so proud I don't have words. I didn't really get into a full on cry. I felt the tears coming... but as usual, my defense mechs shut it down. I just pray that when she comes back, we're not so narrowminded that she can't be with us.
