There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Happy 4th... belated!
I had a really great weekend. Primarily because I spent my final weekend at my baby's apt this weekend. Starting Friday and ending yesterday (monday). We just really spent so much quality time together and I felt so comfortable and at home the whole time I was there. I'm going to miss the apt (he's moving out). It was a nice little spot for us for a bit. But you know... new plateaus mean new horizons. So I'm looking forward to that.
Although we spent so much time together, I have no real thoughts on the weekend... outside of feeling surrounded by friendship at the barbecue and on monday with V and D went with us to Michael's creativity store. And above all... a true feeling like, I was wanted and needed in my baby's space. And that's all I really have been asking for. So it was really great to experience that. It's been a while. But it was just this white noise of contentment all weekend. I don't remember dreaming. I don't remember having any overtly profound thoughts. Just at peace.
