There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Today was supposed to be Sugie's Sendoff but has thusly been cancelled on the fear of rain. Which saddens me. If things are done in a park, you have to be ready, rain or shine. I had my raincoat and sneakers out and we were gonna do it up. But folks were pulling out. Sug's mom wasn't even coming. So we shut it down. It's a shame cause the weather is decent now. It's not PERFECT and sunny... but it's not deplorable. You never know what the weather's gonna do, so you have to be ready to live life... either way. Sing it Billie:
Your browser doesn't support the EMBED tag, but you can still listen to the music on this page by <a href="http://www.thoughtsdaughter.com/sounds/comerain.mp3">clicking here.</a>
This morning was full of vivid, passionate dreams. Almost felt like some of them weren't altogether dreams. One dream seems like Cary was in it. I remember just being engulfed with him. Arms wrapped around his back, hand on his neck and head. His head nuzzled in my neck. Legs entwined. But it was almost as if at certain times... he was actually there... and at others... I was enacting this all by myself and imagining him there in my dream. Really strange. That segment was quickly replaced with thoughts of my baby. Nice that my mind is getting better at this. I used to languish a bit too long on thoughts of the dangerous and impossible. But my sweetie was there in all his glory... and feeling quite randy. His skin is so soft... it's soft in my dreams! He's the best! His shoulders and chest are the best thing to ever happen to me... and other parts that I care not mention here. *tee hee*. Some how in the entirety of my dreaming... B2K was in there (in a performance capacity...) but I imagine it's because I was looking through my old posts and saw their name there. Amazing what your brain brings to life when you're sleeping. Then in one dream I got stuck out in New Jersey. Jury's out if that was a nightmare or not. LMAO!!!!!
I guess I'm gonna figure out what this day holds for me.
