There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Okay so I think this is working now... I'm not all together sure. But it looked like the test worked yesterday. So this is my first official blog on my new server. And I'm hoping to turn the comments local to Blogger too... I like Haloscan... but I just want to pare down on how many things I use to manage my stuff.
I had another bizarre dream last night. I dreamt I was in the bell tower of a temple. (I'm sure there was more to the dream leading up to this point....) And it looked like I was in the mountains... And I remember feeling that I was quite young... like maybe 10 or so. And I was sitting there but I wasn't alone. We were high up enough for the clouds to be passing through the bell tower... so every now and again... the mist from the clouds would engulf the area where we were in and we couldn't see each other anymore. But knew we were there. And it was wild... there was this one really big cloud coming our way... and the anticipation of it passing the bell tower was so much that I felt my heart racing. And when it finally started to cover the tower... I got the same feeling as I get when I'm standing too close to the edge of the train platform and the train whooshes in. It steals all my breath and for a moment, I'm disoriented and afraid... but just for a moment. The cloud passed through and I couldn't see anything... and I was afraid but then very calm. And that was the long and the short of the dream. Me up high... passing through the clouds but protected from falling. It was actually really serene and felt good to be a little girl... and I think I didn't have a care. Cause I felt no obligation at all.
Of course all that abruptly ceased when I heard the alarm go off and it was an hour earlier so I could get into the office "on time" to take pictures of Dikembe Mutumbo with the morning show. *sigh*. Maybe I'll dream like that again soon.
