There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
Okay... so now I'm on the plane on the way home. I thought I would blog more, but I ended up just not having the time. I actually had a good time down there for the most part. The resort was BEAUTEAOUS (it's a word one of my Sorors LOVES to use). And for my part, thankfully BUG FREE.
I was a little nervous when we got off the plane what it was going to be like. Customs / Immigracion took a while to get through. Never went through it before and now I finally have a stamp in my newest passport. I wonder where the old one is so that I can see how many places I've been (2) LMAO... Then when we were waiting to find out what happened to Tricia's boxes (long story)... When I went to the bathroom, I saw a mosquito that was so big, it had to hop. Laaaaawwwd Jeeerus. So I was like... word. This is what my "vacay" is going to be like. Dayum. So then when we went outside and found the Taxi guy holding the "Emmis Interactive" sign, he led us to the van and on the way out there, offered us "cool towel" and some water. And I blurted... "So long as it's bottled... that's fine by me!!" He used silver tongs to remove two delicately folded towels off of a silver platter and handed them to each one of us.... And they were moist and very cool and smelled like heaven. And the water was cool and bottled. So we got in the van and the man was driving VERY aggressively. It was crazy. So as we're driving along, we hit this patch on the road (I've convinced myself was jungle) where these huge brown bugs were hitting the window. And I said to myself... THIS is exactly what I didn't want. So I asked the guy... hey...what kind of bugs are those? And he said "Butterflies"... so I'm like... there must be a language barrier, cause those ain't no damned butterflies and they wouldn't be hitting the windshield so heavily and leaving such a horrid skid mark. Luckily it was only a patch and we got past it and into the complex about a half hour down the road. The place was like paradise. We walked in and it was truly so beautiful. Only palm trees and light colored stucco and blue pools of water (manmade or natural). Brown huts, white sands ... pictures will really get that across. I could spend all day trying to describe it. And what is crazier is that my pictures look like pictures from the brochure or something. Crazy.
I won't go into the meetings because it was the meetings that made this trip on the slightly non-enjoyable side. And that dredged up feelings that I can't even really get into right now. It's going t o make me not enjoy the recap of my weekend. It went pretty quickly. I really hung out with Keith for the most part which was cool. But I did get a bit of time on my own, which was fine. I drank A LOT more than I probably should have. So much so that my shit was black for the most part (I know that is so much information, but I think it's important). I got a chance to lay out on pool side a few days in a row, which was great because I needed the sun. It was NOT great because I felt like I looked like a beached whale. But that's my esteem at work. (or lack thereof). When you have skinny little girls like Tricia walking around in 2 pieces and there I come. 215 lbs of pure Chocolate goodness! LMAO....Maybe not so good. Pure chocolate fatness. Oh well. But I didn't let it get it to me too much. I was much more focused on getting a tan. And I did... all be it a little one. You'll see in the pictures. They are showing "Lost In Translation" on the plane so I'm going to pay attention to that and write again when it's over @ 4:50 EST.
