There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
It was pretty quiet this weekend. Much needed and deserved relaxation took place. Friday night was peaceful and I slept late, which was glorious. Then Saturday I spent the majority of the day out and about with the Mr. We got him the new phone that he's been needing forever and we wandered around Union Square for the whole day (there was a fair there). Then we rounded up the folks and fam and went bowling at Bowlmor. That was a lot of fun ceptin that one of the folks we invited sent over a herd of Dirties.... who didn't know how to frikkin' act. When I was told that they'd be there, I know that I turned my nose up and my baby's frat said "Now, now... play nice". So I did. They (the Dirties) all walked in and hugged ALLLLL the men. And waved at us (me and my sorors sitting against the wall. No attempt to be familial at all. THEN, the one that I can only think was the leader of the herd, comes over and starts up with trying to "organize" the get together that my baby and I already organized. "okay" she said, "so it's gonna be what... guys against girls?" And I, in my most humble voice said... "No... we're all just playing together like one big family." And she replied, "Well... are y'all playing?" And I felt like saying... No bitch, I just organized this shit. Dumbass. Oh well. We spent the rest of the night NOT associatng with them.
The next day my baby and I and his mom went to Evergreen Cemetary to visit his uncle. His uncle died in 1994 but is still very much a part of his life and his mom's life. It was just bugged standing around in a field of peoples memories. A few tears flowed for me, which are rare these days. However they weren't really for my baby's uncle... they were for Granny. I don't really allow myself to cry about it as often as I should, I guess. But I got a chance to really get to know my baby's mom a littel more. Regular human like the rest of us. Glad that she's letting me in.
Today we luxuriated in just being alone and in love. We worked out together... and just were wonderful. I look forward to many more years of such wonderfullness :)
Off to bed... I have to reenter the real world tomorrow.
