There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
So I had this pretty extended dream last night. I was seeing someone (not my baby) and we were living in a pretty nice setup in New York somewhere. And all we did was have sex. I mean... we'd go out and stuff... but his libido was MUCH more intense than mine, and it was great... but I met this guy in the elevator in the same building. And he was cute. And he was coming on to me. So I cheated on the guy I was living with... with this new guy. Who became a stalker. And my old boyfriend was losing interest in me and I started seeing him around with other, shorter, skinnier girls. And there I was. What was seemingly a perfect situation, I had peed all over it and it was curdling. Nothing seemed to be wrong with my first boyfriend. He was tall, handsome (looked a little puerto rican / colombian) and he wanted me terribly. But... I just had to have this other guy.
There are a couple of things that I'm now coming to the realization of about the lines in heaven. Someone tricked me when I was on the line for "Big Booty" and told me ..."hey, it's over there" And I got on the line for "Man's Libido". So to compensate I went on every other line twice. Breast, Hips and Thigh's a plenty. Legs'r'us. But... the over active libido thing is going to be the death of me. I have to find a way to control it. I've been watching the first season of Sex & the City on HBO In Demand (shame on me)... and there was this episode with this guy that Samantha was trying to get at. But he wasn't letting it happen because he was now being pleased by tantric something or other. Where he'd take the sexual frustration and rechannel it through his body. I need to look into that. It's much too much of a distraction and I don't have the perfect outlet. They quoted a statistic in that episode that says "The average woman has sex 3.5 times a week," followed up by someone saying "I'd like to know who that woman is!" Here, here, Sistah. So would I.
I just thought of something. Maybe this is why I eat so much.... hmmm? Compensate one apetite for the one I can't fulfill. Interesting. I hate having this degree in Psychology sometimes.
Oh well. I'm off to start my day and see if I can get some! LMAO! I Promise to be more sane upon return
Spring Forward. Sleep Less.
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