There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
So we went up skiing. And I uncovered within me the woman that will grow old to nag my baby to death one day. I was getting on him about his driving (he WAS driving like a maniac though). I was getting on him about his manners... just everything I could find. But I managed to catch myself in time enough not to make the entire weekend a bust.
So my LS Vern ribbed me about going "skiing" in the mountains and how when I get to my room there'll be a heart shaped tub in the room (a la poconos). I knew what kind of trip this was. There would be no such thing. Lo and behold... in the middle of the room:
Funny...
So my baby and I attempted to go skiing. We got out there at about 10:30 AM... we rented the boots and everything, skiis and the whole nine... but we missed the class that started at 12:00... so we had to wait for the one that started at one. So we went walking (in the skiboots) to the skishop to get goggles... and then walked back (in the skiboots) to the area where the beginners class should have been and waited for an hour ... (in the skiboots). By the time 1:00 rolled around... I could barely feel my legs anymore. But we tried.... standing correctly in our skis (by putting them on). And my baby slid down the hill. Then we tried walking up the hill in the skis... and my baby slid down the hill. Then we tried wedging our skis.... and my baby slid down the hill... and stayed there. Frustrated. So I took off my skis and went to him and gave him his out. He took it and we left. I was so disappointed. I know he was feeling crazily about it... but I really wanted to try. But... I thought to myself...as I sometimes do... I guess I can come back to something like this with someone else. But who?
I talked to him about it. I can't constantly need to find other people to do stuff with. It's going to make me question how come I keep HIM around if I'm doing things with other people perpetually? He took it to heart and said he'll work on it but it won't be overnight. And to retaliate, like he always does... he brings up the driving. "Get your license". Okay. So when I get my license... really... what is he going to say then? So I promised him I'd get on my license kick by the end of the summer. I guess I have to get a move on.
So when we did go back out there on Sunday, we went tubing. I tried to tape it going down the hill... but I was more concerned with holding the tube than I was with holding the camera. Hence... the shots of the sky and the laughable track. I listen to it and it makes me smile. I figure, it might make someone else do the same.
The drought ended this weekend. For as many nights as we stayed there is as many nights as we made love. Best it's been in AGES. and I don't know if that's because any food is good food to a starving man... or if it was just really good. Doesn't matter. The pressure has been let out of the balloon and I can go back to a normal strain of thought for about 2 weeks ;).
And with that... I MUST sleep. They have my work cut out for me at work these days!
