There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
consumed with the thought that the world is full of masochists. or folks who don't value themselves. everyone seems to want carrie to get back with big.
for what? 6 more years of being led astray but definitely away from real happiness? just feigned, fleeting moments of ignorant bliss that are just as easily blotted out by the anger of how stupid she feels by letting him walk all over her.
