There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
It's already 3:48 AM and I'm still up. Thankfully I have the day off tomorrow. But this evening was productive. I'm so rested from the weekend that I have no desire to go to bed. But I'll do it because I know it's what I need. This weekend was quiet. Not quite as I imagined it, but I'm realizing that life just isn't sometimes.
Watching Sex & the City this weekend fucked me up. I need Carrie to make the right decision. Backsliders need more positive role models.
Got a lot done on the freelance tip today. Hope to continue with that tomorrow. I'm thirsty. I'm going to get some sleep.
