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There is a mental state
I strive to achieve
a homeostatic state
a humming
a lull
like those alpha wave
tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear
that in my head all day.
Instead of the
clanging of my
thoughts
and the
clashing of my
wants
versus
what I should do
need to do
and the sad,
bright violins
from "Sunshine"
so melancholy
so consistent
that remind me
how it is
not to have
anyone understand

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    Sunday, January 18, 2004

      First Impressions

      I'll start with this because it's the piece that makes me the angriest... then I can get to all the happy stuf that happened over the week!

      So... the new boss came in to be met on Friday (after cancelling on Thursday because of the snow... which only made me think... wtf??? But she lives in Princeton and that's supposed to be why we're okay with her taking the day). Back to the subject.... she came in on Friday at 3:00 to meet everyone, so, me thinking it was in the head honcho's office stopped by... at the time it was just Matt and her so I excused myself, walked in and shook her hand and introduced myself. Let me preempt by saying I put a lot of thought into what I had on Friday... and resisted the urge to dress like a boy out of the need for comfort. The HH tells me to meet them in the conf. room so I go and sit down. A few minutes later the new boss comes in and starts small talking with folks and turns to me and says... "So... Victoria... what exactly do you do, are you like... on the street team or something?" STREET TEAM????????????????????? Was she serious???? It took all of my lady like classiness not to thrash her verbally. And I simply responded, "No... I actually manage all three websites." Later when the HH came in he did like a 5 minute soliloquy about how I've been holdin' the company down in a major way and I'm a rising star back there, etc, etc. Man oh man.... Street Team...
      I NEVER!

      That aside...

      Saving lives

      This week was brutally cold and the snow was something else. I normally like cold AND snow. But BRUTAL cold and snow... ti's a bit much. But the snow was pretty none the less. This time we got the crystallized snow that stays white and really doesn't slush up. Everything was just blanketed in white. We're getting snow again tonight but thankfully, it's a long weekend.
      Couple of pictures that I took:


      In all of that snow, I remember hearing Bloomberg say, "we can't be everywhere, if you know of a homeless person who needs a shelter in this time, please call us and we'll come get them." I pass this one homeless man on the way to work everyday. I try not to look at him because he stays really quiet and just holds his sign: "Homeless & War Vet" and it BREAKS MY HEART the way they treat people who fight for this country so it can remain "free"-er than other countries. But... I meant to go up to the office and call Bloomberg and his pals to come get him... he apparantly doesn't live in any shelter. He always is outside and I think I see where he sleeps... it's like some wooden crates by the school.

      There, but for the grace of God, go I.


      Founder's Day

      Thursday marked the 96th year of my sweet sorority. I was very happy to spend some of that day with Sorors that I appreciate. It was great to sit around the table with them and laugh and fellowship. I met one soror who is married at the young age of 23. Her husband is 24. They met in college and fell in love and got married. And I thought... "sweet!" We happened to ride the train home together and she tells me about how he's a bit of a workaholic with 10 - 15 hour days and never relaxes and he had a stroke 3 years ago and he has Bell's Palsy.........
      AT 24??? I will pray for them. Because THAT is love. To be that young and dedicate your life to someone who is sick that way when they're young too... you MUST love them. But the night was BRISK and sisterly.

      New Horizons...

      There may be a new job on the horizon for me. And old friend called me out of the blue and works for a publication that I LOVE and said that they want to meet with me about their website. I'm meeting with them on Tuesday. I pray that this yields good ness for me.

      I always keep in the back of my mind, the IM that I got from God. Just hold fast to what I know of God and the situation will be taken care of... My foes will be vanquished. No weapons formed against me shall prosper. Here I go... Church Lady. Funny... I spoke with Rocco last night and he said that when he worked at the company he considered me to be the "church lady" the kind that you never cussed in front of all because of a convo we had about how all men fantasize about a threesome and I told them that my baby doesn't. He REALLY doesn't. Like... I couldn't entice him in to one if I wanted to. He's so on the up and up. That's why I know that he was made for me. Because I can't deal with the triflin-ness of going to the scrip club (yes... I said "scrip") or having to have a fresh supply of pornos all the time. I told Rocco that he had me pegged all wrong. Between my baby and I... he's going straight to heaven and I have VIP in pergutory *teehee*. Maybe his grace will rub off on me and I can end up with him in eternity.

      *

    TD |12:49 AM |