There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
It's been confirmed. My status. Two and you are... one and you're not. And I got one. This was a no win situation for me mentally. Either way... i was going to find some horrid way of beating myself up for being me. Just my body's way of pointing a finger at me and cackling the way that kid from the Simpson's does. I feel it will be doing that for the rest of eternity. No more worrying, at least.
I have no other thoughts tonight. I just want to lay down.
