There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I feel much less burdened today. Although I'm very tired. Today was a day with my soul set on God. I didn't deviate from it. I felt really clean and airy. I slept moderately well yesterday (despite the bit of nausea last night while I slept... but my baby tells me that he was also nauseous all day today... so it must have been something we ate). And we spent some good quality time together yesterday. It's amazing how little things can make all of life seem better. I just hope it continually goes better for a while. I need to feel that my life is on the upward swing for the 30th year :)
