There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
I'm at work today and I have to say, althought I HATE being at work on a national holiday, I do certainly appreciate NY more like this than any other way. The train ride was stress-free, I found a seat... made all the connections with no worries; there werent a million people on top of me on the train. There weren't a thousand people at the store on line for breakfast and not a million people walking down the street doing the mad dash for the light and knocking each other over. I read somewhere over the weekend that the highest instance of heart attack happens on Mondays. Not this Monday. But that's only because everyone is sleep or hanging with their kids or on vacation still. And I'm at work. *sigh*
I slept okay last night... but resisted waking this morning. I don't remember if I was dreaming at all. But I'd love to still be. I'm lacking romance. I need something to ignite my life just a little. Maybe once I clear the clutter... that will happen.
Not much else happened today. I spent some quality time with my baby again today. And I really talked to him about what is wrong with us. I hope that we're on the way to recovery.
Mommy's Stories
I got stuck on an elevator with my baby today so my mom was telling me a story about how she got stuck on an elevator when she was working in the city (on 6th avenue between 49th and 50th street). She was on the 47th floor and the elevator got stuck with the group of her and her co workers who were on their way out of the building. She said it wasn't so bad because there was a bunch of them. She said "one of the women who was a part of some other religion sang and it calmed us." She cited that they didn't get stuck in the elevator for the big black out of 83 (if I'm not mistaken) but she did have to walk down 47 flights to get out of the building.
