There is a mental state
I strive to achieve a homeostatic state a humming a lull like those alpha wave tapes they sold in the 60's
I need to hear that in my head all day. Instead of the clanging of my thoughts and the clashing of my
wants versus what I should do need to do and the sad, bright violins from "Sunshine" so melancholy
so consistent that remind me how it is not to have anyone understand
My baby and I continued our excess. Eating plenty, sleeping plenty... and just being all around each other. I can't wait for my aunt to leave so that we can BE together *sigh* I swear I got more action when I was single *tee hee*
Anyways... we went to go see this mansion up in Harlem. It's called the Morris - Jumel Mansion. It's right dead center in Harlem and it's like a musem. It was really beautiful. It's amazing to see how folks lived back then. It makes me wonder what that part of Harlem used to look like once upon a time. They said that George Washington used to live there during the revolution and that the troops used to stay in a housing area on the following block. Somewhere that they call "Dutch Harlem". It was all very nice.
Then we visited with JaJwa and Sher... it was good to see them. Their apartment is so cozy and lived in. They both look at rest. God bless them both. I'm really happy for what they have.
This morning, I woke up to Earl watching Carmen Jones on the tv. Dorothy Dandridge was so classy. I was thinking about it all day... at what point did little girls STOP wanting to look like that... and be that way... so sophisticated that they were almost unattainable? When did guys lose their guts and get so afraid of rejection that they ceased wanting to put in the work to pursue? When did our world become so "immediate gratification" that we've compromised our values. So that young girls give up their virtues fast for fear of losing some man's attention. And that young men don't see the need to reach for higher heights when they can get some easy stuff without even trying.
I wonder if there are still young women being born who strive to have the mystique and sophistication and finesse of our Ellas and Linas and Sarahs and Dorothies and Earthas of days past. I know I'm one of them... I hope there are more.
