Right Now I'm...

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Okay... I gotta call down to NY and start hustling. I am running out of money and it's starting to get a little hectic. I'm nervous because I might have to ask Jean. Which is frightening.

I'm back... It is now 10:01 Dallas time and I'm waiting to find out what is going on tonight. I want to go to this little Kappa party that is going on, but I dunno. A lot of people are feeling the sleep vibe tonight. I am too kind of. I mean... I sleep all frikkin day. So it wouldn't hurt or hinder me to go or to stay. Either way, I'm chillin. But I had a pretty good day. I basically slept till 1:00 PM and then when I woke up, I went to the Fairmount, where DeeDee is staying and she and I and K went to the pool in her hotel and we sunned and funned. I busted my toe in the pool though when I was tryin got be a pioneer and venture off into the 9 ft area of the pool. So now it's swollen . It was very cool. I got a little bitty tan. I'll try to do better tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

Last night was interesting. We went to this party at a club down here called the Gold Bar and it was a lot of Greeks there so we all went (we all being Vernie and I, Deke... this Alpha we met down here, Karla, Angie B. and K.) Robin decided that she wanted to make love to her bed last night so she didn't hang with us. And it was pretty cool. I had a couple of mildy potent drinks. Which was also very cool. I'm really beginning to see what they mean when they say that alcohol brings down your inhibitions, because I was just dancing with folks last night. I had maybe about 4 different dance partners. Here's the kicker... they were all really cute. And I stopped them to come dance with me. There was this one who was a Que from the Bahamas and another Que from Atlanta. His name was Clay. He was gorgeous. His body was AMAZING... but he had no rhythm and there really wasn't that sexual spark that I get from some guys. He wanted to come stay with me at my hotel room but I got out of that. That would have been too easy and I didn't want to put myself in that kind of a situation so early in the game. He was sexy though.
Another AKA who is staying with DeeDee (her name is Vla) kind of bugged out though. She met up with this Alpha at the party we were at last night and he was sexy... his body was bangin... but he was only 23. (I know cause I asked him). Turned out that he was one of the cats dancing with me on Monday night but when I turned around and looked at him he was all drenched in sweat. He was looking scrawny and shit. It was crazy. (mom just called... I love her so much). And he was like "You are SO pretty" and I just smiled at him and kept dancing. I didn't think much of it... and he just danced away. But when I saw him at this party... li'l boy had a li'l somthin goin on... but he was flaunting it all to Vla... who I understand is 23, still an undergrad, has a child and a man at home... but she took li'l Alpha man to the hotel room with her last night. Which I find amazing. So DeeDee had to come stay with me. Which was groovy because she and I got to sit and bond. For a woman who is 27, she really seems to not have been exposed to too much. She was asking me what I thought the ideal waiting time before having sex with a man is. I would think that at 27 she was a little bit closer to the answer than I. But I guess the search continues, regardless of age. Maybe she just wants to see my take on it. But she's refreshingly naïve about life and it's nice to be around someone like that. She left early this morning and I went ahead and kept sleeping. I had to sleep off the dayumed hangover I had.

I need to figure out what I'm going to wear tonight. I really feel kind of dumpy right now. I am kind of hating on my body. I had intended to be really taking care of myself this week... but no exercise, massive liquor and eating beef and pork like it's going out of style... I really need to check myself. PLUS I can't get on to the internet, which really sucks because I need to check my e-mail and such... and cannot do it. And I can't change settings on this computer and I can't do much of anything... aside from write in my journal.

I wanted to call Ced and see if what he was saying on my IM the last time I signed on was true. He said "I have diabetes" but since I wasn't at the console when he left that message, I didn't read it till I came back and he was gone already. I shouldn't have waited so long to respond to him, but better late than never. I'll leave him a message on his work phone.

But back to trying to find something to wear... I'm not trying to be without a dance partner tonight. I was on fire last night though! I was doing my thing... I really have to figure out if it was because of the liquor or if I genuinely didn't give a fuck last night. And usually when I don't give a fuck is when I get the most "offers". But you know... I will never get this game down. It is the single most complicated thing in the world.

Checking my messages:

5 new messages:

9:23 Sunday: Seron... update... about a month... could be longer. Possibly until the end of the year... it is up in the air about going back to school this year.

10:00 AM Sunday: Keith... wants to set up a simple subscription site for Heart and Soul. Replicate the Honey subscription stuff for Heart and Soul. Michelle James is going to call. Heart and Soul logos... then have it point to BET. Wants to run commercials on it

10:52 AM Monday July 10th... Andrew at stargiving 212 *** ****

11:31 AM Tuesday July 11: Alan... who sucks 927 *** ****

4:59 PM Tuesday July 11: Ken Nero from Urban Engine 212 *** **** ask for Ken Nero



I still can't get the stupid laptop to work. GRRR... I mean in the internet sense. I was able to get the AOL to work, but it won't let me get on the internet. It's that whole IE / AOL problem that 5.0 has. It's 11:25 PM and I'm still waiting to see where folks are at for their plans this evening. But no one has called. Ben said to look out for him around now... but I haven't heard anyone or seen anyone. I'm beginning to feel like I should go to sleep. Wash my hair and call it a day. But I really don't want to do that... I want to go shake my but and be sexy and party and bullshit... That's what I wanted to do all this week anyway...aside from getting some dick which doesn't seem that it may happen this weekend.... Unless I get it from K... which is NOT happening. He's a cool bruh and all... but NOT my type. So... I just get a call from some Negro talking about "Hi... remember me?" I'm like Well dayum nigrroooo... I don't know you. But it turned out to be Clay (the Que from last night) who wanted to come hang out with me. That is interesting. I didn't think he would call nor did I think he would want to come chill. He may be on that vibe because he wants somewhere to stay tonight. Well...if I see him at this Kappa party, then I'll be sure to hook him up somehow... (I dunno what that means right now... but we'll see. I'm calling Robin now to see what's up. No one has called me yet.. I'm beginning to think I'm waiting in vain... and she is not answering...

Oh wow... sigh if I had money I'd go alone. But I don't. I'm broker than a joke. Well... I left her a message. We'll see what happens.

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